I’m prone to bouts of upper-end-of-young-adult blues. Some people call it a quarter life crisis, and it is usually a period of time in your twenties when you feel stuck in a rut, directionless, like your life has no meaning or purpose…basically like you’re trapped in a Kevin Smith movie.
I guess that’s where I’m kind of at sometimes, and tonight was no exception. As much as I sing the virtues of having a routine, sometimes too much routine (especially when it involves obligations I’m not too crazy about) can make you feel stagnant. Groundhog Day syndrome.
Tonight, I set out to do something different. I needed to shrug the cloak of negativity weighing down my shoulders, so I…went for a walk. Yes, I remedy my sadness over having a mundane life by doing one of the most ordinary things you can do: go for a stroll.
But you never know where the road is going to take to you. To paraphrase about a million cliches, sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone. Well I didn’t just step out of it tonight, I leapt like a delusional cat and did a cartwheel then crapped my pants.
(Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the hyperbolic licensing club.)
On this walk, I became very reacquainted with my fear of heights. There is a busy overpass by David’s house that overlooks the turnpike. We walked over it. My stomach dropped. There was just so much potential for things to go terribly wrong, and I couldn’t get the death train of thought out of my mind. Anxiety ensued. Crossing the street to the other side provided a bit more stress. But finally we made it to our destination: this park nestled between the overpass and a neighborhood.
Nothing like a little danger to make you feel alive. Even if it is like, old lady danger.
We walked around the park, admired the lights. Talked. It was nice. Neither momentous or momentary–maybe something in the middle, like noteworthy. Anyway, I’m babbling. As I turned on the radio for the drive home, the perfect soundtrack was provided by wvum. It was the Psycho Candy show which features new and old songs of the shoegaze genre. I was so into it that I actually pulled over to text the station to tell them that they’re awesome.
Odonis Odonis – Ledged Up by Fat Cat Records
Caged Animals – Girls On Medication from Lucky Number Music on Vimeo.
Speaking of which, I’m a girl on medication.
And in case you are wondering what any of this has to do with fitness…I went for a walk, okay! And red wine is good for you. And I needed to do this for my MENTAL fitness. That’s important. I want to start taking more quick walk breaks while I’m at work as well. I think they’ll help me feel less like a mine canary.
Now I have dirt-mouth from the vino, and I’m up far too late for what was supposed to be my 4:30 a.m. waking. It was worth it.