So, I’m not a vegetarian. But every now and then I start thinking about all those cows and their sad, glossy eyes and I feel like a real asshole for eating them. (Honestly I barely eat red meat, but still.)

So this weekend I tried my hand at something new: home-made black bean burgers. Yeah, I know. Not the most original thing in the world, but whatever. It was a first for me. I did it for the cows. And ‘cause I wanted to try something new.

They were really good, although they definitely didn’t taste like meat. I’ve come to realize that nothing tastes like meat except for meat. And that’s okay. I still found this burger substitute to be tasty in its own right. The only thing I would’ve changed is maybe adding egg to the mix, but I don’t think the “burgers” suffered much because of that omission.

This recipe is also pretty flexible. You can add a variety of different spices to flavor it to your liking.



1 ½ cup cooked black beans
¼ cup uncooked steel cut oats
¼ cup Greek yogurt
¼ cup chopped almonds
¼ cup whole wheat Panko breadcrumbs
½ cup chopped onions
2 tbsp chopped garlic
2 tsp oil, divided
1 tsp Mrs. Dash Southwest Chipotle seasoning
Salt and pepper to taste

Most of the ingredients.


-Put 1 tsp oil, onions and garlic in a medium saucepot or large pan and cook on medium-high until onions are golden brown, approximately 5 minutes.

-Add 1/3 cup of water and bring to a boil. Add steel cut oats, cover and remove from heat. The oats should sit for about 15 to 20 minutes.

Steel cut oats and onions - an unlikely pair?

-In the meantime, put beans, almonds, salt, pepper, and seasoning into a food processor and pulse until mushy. The Chopster couldn’t handle the load I gave it, so I added the bean mix in little by little. I started to get frustrated with how slow it was going, so by the end I was just mashing everything together with my hands, and that worked fine.

I think this would also be pretty good as dip!

-Drain extra water from steel cut oats. In a large bowl, combine yogurt, Panko crumbs, and oat-onion mix. Then add the bean mixture in and work the ingredients together. I did it with my hands. Make four equal-sized patties from the mixture, flattening them until they’re about half an inch thick. Place them on top of a plate line with parchment paper and refrigerate for 15-20 minutes.

They're meatless and they look like cow pies! How appetizing.

-Heat a skillet and add the remaining tsp of oil. Once it’s good and hot, sear each side of the patties for 3-5 minutes. Serve with buns, or however you like!

The final product.
Eat my non-meats!

And for those who care, the nutritional break down for 1 patty out of a batch of 4:

Cals: 221

Fat: 7.5g

Carbs: 22g

Prot: 9g

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