Today in the shower, while I scrubbed the dead skin off my feet with a pumice, I started thinking about how pointless it all feels sometimes. Not life. Blogging. You see, I have an issue with the inherently narcissistic nature of it.
How egotistical and pretentious is it for me to assume that anyone cares about what I do? Do I think I’m some kind of aspiring Internet celebrity with the way I air my life and opinions? I’m not even a fitness professional, just a passionate enthusiast.
Does anyone care that I walked to CVS wearing shorts with a big hole in the butt?
Does anyone care that my boyfriend is a nerd and a weirdo?
Why even put it out there? Why bother trying to be something that seems so…vapid and attention-seeking?
Well, I think most of us find it fulfilling to contribute a part of ourselves to something we care about. And although there is definitely a narcissistic aspect to blogging, the truth is there ARE people who care about what you do, whether it’s because they know you or they’re bored at work or looking at your blog is a form of inspiration or escapism for them. However, I don’t want my blog to be a tabloid of my life.
Yes, I will include details about my life. But while posting a picture of almost every single thing you eat or what you wear might work for other bloggers, it’s not what I’m aiming for. I’m not trying to sling veiled insults at bloggers who do that either. You can get very successful doing those things, and I do read blogs that are like that, but it’s not part of my own vision.
To get myself out of this rut I had to remind myself that I’m blogging because yes, I want to share a part of myself with the world. But it’s for the connection. I’m not looking at my blog as my own personal red carpet. When I sit down to write, I think of it as like having a conversation with a friend. And as a matter of fact, I’ve had this very conversation with certain people.
For example, my parents. I actually want to get into more detail about that conversation at a later time, but the gist of it was them asking me what exactly my message is with this blog.
It’s about fitness and being healthy, with an emphasis on being STRONG. It’s about being hardcore and taking pride in that. And it’s through the eyes of a girl who isn’t like other girls. I’m not married. I don’t want to get married. I curse. I’m crass. I like to lift heavy weights. I’d rather wear Chucks than heels. Yeah, you get the point.
Hopefully that doesn’t make me too narcissistic. I don’t know. My brain is starting to hurt from thinking about it. At the end of the day, who cares. I enjoy blogging, and that’s all that matters, right?
SO ANYWAY. Today’s workout, compliments of simplefit.org. (Great site, btw.)
I did a circuit of one chin-up, two pushups and three squats for max rounds in 20 minutes.
I did 46 rounds. That’s…alright. I can definitely do better. This workout was actually not as difficult as I anticipated, and the time went by faster than expected. It’s definitely worth doing! Try it out and let me know what you think. I’m going to add this one to my roster of “cardio” workouts.