Fit Geek

My man squats ME ass to grass!

He also uses me as a human barbell.

And this is why we’re together.

In other news…got my co-op share today. Here are some crappy pictures of good produce.

Eat your vaggies! That's a spaghetti squash on the left, btw.

Mushrooms!

Persimmons! I've never had these before.

Beets! I'm looking forward to having purple poop.

Let’s see what I come up with the next two weeks.

I’m beat.

Literally.

I got home not too long ago from my mixed martial arts (MMA) self defense class. I go twice a week and we practice things like grappling (wrestling), striking, kicking, knife defense, judo (ugghhh) and ninjitsu. It’s been quite the learning experience.

Which reminds me…

11 Things I’ve Learned from MMA.

Me lookin' cool in my unbearably hot gi.

I’ve been practicing MMA for about 9 months now–fitting, considering I’m pretty much still in my infancy when it comes to this stuff. (My instructor yelled at me for something and I told him that I’m a baby learning how to crawl, and he said, “More like you act like a baby.” Psh.) I don’t want to try to sound like I really know anything; this list is based off of my own personal experiences. It could be different for anyone.

1. Leave your ego at the door.
If you have a problem with failure then this is probably not the best pursuit for you, because someone is always going to be better than you. And you WILL mess up if you are a newbie. Which brings me to my next point…

2. Embrace failure
They can’t all be winners. Every time you fail, you learn. And the more you learn, the better you get. For me, success has come as tiny victories sprinkled throughout long stretches of clumsy, hasty suckiness. The fear of failure is paralyzing, and on many occasions it has left me frozen in doubt in the middle of a drill. There is no benefit to this. Either you try something and it works, or it doesn’t. In both of those instances the experience is far more valuable than doing nothing.

3. Get clinical.
I’m not sure if other people experience this, but removing my emotions from the situation is something I’ve really had to work on. When I “fight” MMA with someone I can get mad and take things way too personally. I’ve never gone into a tussle with the intention of getting upset, but for a while whenever I would roll I would start to see red and thrash wildly. This is not good because you get sloppy, you don’t see important things and you waste a lot of energy. I can’t emphasize how important it is to keep your cool and not let your emotions get the best of you. I’m still working on this one but I think I’ve gotten better. And at the end of the day, there’s no reason to take it personally. You’re there to learn, as are other people. No one’s intentions are malicious (usually…hopefully), they are just trying to get better, the same as you are.

4. Be patient.
Some people are naturally better at things like martial arts, but for those of us (*cough cough ME cough cough*) who are challenged in all things that require finesse and coordination…shit is hard. But don’t give up. If you stick with it, and you try, you will get better.

5. Relax.
I had a panic attack during my yellow belt test. Ever since then I’ve been putting a lot of effort into calming my breathing and not getting too worked up. Think about when you get stressed. The best thing you can do is regulate your breathing and try to relax. For many people it’s something you have to learn to do, and I really feel that MMA is helping me to improve in this area.

6. Rely on technique, not strength.
This may not apply quite so much to a larger person, but as a girl who is only 5’3″ and 115 lbs, this is important for me. Mostly because I don’t really have much strength to use against someone bigger and stronger than me. And the more strength I try to use, the more I’m going to wear myself out. And for what? It’s not like it’s going to save me from the other person. That’s why really nailing down the technique is important.

7. Get used to being bruised.
I’ve pretty much retired my skirts because my shins are perpetually covered in bruises. I don’t really mind though. It makes me feel kind of tough.

They've turned a nice, bright shade of magenta since taking this.

8. Grappling counts as cardio.
Dude. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told myself that I was going to do cardio after an MMA class, only to leave completely exhausted with my shirt drenched in sweat. Wrestling is INTENSE. In fact, today the other girls and I rolled live (rolling basically means wrestling with someone, and going live is like going almost full force) for longer than we ever have before, and I started getting the shakes. But to be honest, I find this form of cardio way more fun than the treadmill. Even if I do feel like dying afterwards.

9. Get lots of pedicures (if you’re a girl.)
My feet are JACKED UP. Normally I pride myself on having nice tootsies, but damn. The mat will do a number on them, as evidenced here. I have more pictures of scars from mat burn and groadie blisters, but I’ll spare you. Not so much because I care about grossing anyone out, but because I don’t want to be known as the girl with crusty feet.

10. Prepare to be in a lot of awkward positions.
I don’t know if you’ve ever watched an MMA match, but when two dudes get on the floor…it can look like gay sex. Naturally, it took a little bit of getting used to whenever I’d get someone between my legs (in my guard) or when someone would mount me. I’m completely desensitized to it now, but lesser experienced grapplers may break out into fits of awkward giggling. Other weird positions include a triangle choke (their head is between your legs) and the north south hold, which is basically a 69 position.

11. Prepare to get very well acquainted with other people’s smells.
I think after #10 this one is pretty self explanatory.

So there you have it. For me, MMA is equal parts physical intuition and mental fortitude. As rough as it is, MMA can be kind of therapeutic. Your pent-up issues tend to come out on the mat, and from there it’s up to you to fix them. I’d highly recommend it for anyone interested not only in self defense, but self improvement as well.

The first time I ever had Indian food was actually only about two years ago. I came across a recipe for Indian chicken coconut curry and made it myself. I had a feeling I was missing out, but damn. It was love at first taste.

Before this I’d actually never had curry before, with the exception of the mustard variety served at Chicken Kitchen. I’m not even a picky eater or anything. I just never got around to trying it.

After making the aforementioned coconut curry concoction, I was hooked. So by the time I actually had real Indian food at a real Indian restaurant I knew for sure that I was going to experience the “Delhi belly”. And oh, did I. Delhi belly is the Indian version of a food coma. It’s no joke, but the food is so good it’s almost worth feeling like a beached whale for three hours.

Fortunately the version I make isn’t quite as heavy. Here’s the recipe, adapted from this one at Hers Muscle & Fitness.

Indian chicken coconut curry

Ingredients:
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2 tbsp ginger (fresh or pre-chopped)
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp coriander
1 tsp fennel seeds
1 tsp mustard seeds
2 cups broccoli, chopped
1/2 cup light coconut milk (You can use regular coconut milk but it will significantly increase the amount of calories.)
1 cup sour cream
2 or 3 tomatoes, diced
1.5 to 2 oz chicken breast, cubed into small pieces
salt & pepper to taste

Directions

-Heat a large pan and add oil. Once hot, add onions and cook till golden.
-Add ginger, turmeric, coriander, cumin, cayenne, fennel seeds and mustard seeds. Cook for 3-4 minutes.
-Add broccoli and cook till tender, about 5 minutes.
-Add coconut milk, sour cream, tomatoes and chicken. Simmer until chicken is completely cooked.
-Add salt and pepper to taste.
-Serve and enjoy!

Ok, so it kind of looks like a blob here. But it's good, I promise!

Crappy quality, but a better shot from a previous time.

Workout Stuff

I just wanted to throw this in here because it’s rare when I do a workout that’s harder than any other I’ve ever done. Today’s leg routine was crazy. It was the kind of workout that makes eating bowl after bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch feel justified. Unfortunately Fortunately I do not have any cereal. I was a good girl and had tuna and “super greens” salad with sweet potato afterwards. Here’s the workout and my thoughts about each exercise in parenthesis:

Squats 4×8 – 105 lbs (Pitiful!)
Narrow leg press 4×8 – 2 sets at 180 lbs, 2 sets at 200 lbs (S’aight.)
Barbell step-ups 4×8 – 45 lbs (My ass is going to hurt tomorrow.)
Walking double lunge (a walking lunge with two pulses for each step) 3×18 – 1 set with 35 lbs, 2 sets with 20 lbs (Just kill me now.)
Bulgarian barbell squat 4×8 – 45 lbs (Wtf.)
Seated calf raise 3×20 – 100 lbs (Finally the torture is over!)

I was actually supposed to do one more exercise–leg extensions–but I was wiped out. Once again, the volume of exercise kicked my ass. Now if you’ll excuse me, there is a pillow waiting for me to faceplant it.

Does anyone else like Indian food? Or have you done a HARDEST WORKOUT EVER lately? Speak up

(Source)

Sprinting is not your average exercise.

When you’re doing that mad dash, puking is not far-fetched. Injuries can occur if you’re not careful. And soreness is guaranteed. But you know what else is guaranteed? Amazing results.

So who is sprinting for? People who want to take it to the next level. People who are willing to go above and beyond to reach their goals. People who want to get stronger, faster, and/or leaner. Sprinting is also an awesome exercise to do if you are trying to put on lean mass (add muscle with as little fat as possible.) The bottom line is that if you want extreme results, you have to go to extreme measures. And as far as intense exercise is concerned, few things surpass sprinting.

Just for clarification, sprinting is basically running as fast as you can. I’m not talking about la-dee-da running, I’m talking about moving your legs and pumping your arms so fast that within a matter of seconds your heart feels like it’s going to jump out of your chest.

The benefits of sprinting include increased power and strength and a boost to your metabolism that will help you burn way more calories long after you’ve finished working out. It improves aerobic and anaerobic cardio endurance. I seriously think it is one of the most effective workouts for burning fat. Oh, and it is a GREAT butt workout.

Sprinter Alenka Bikar’s buns. Hot damn!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckLVriR6Jl0&feature=related

For a very detailed and scientific explanation of what happens to your body when you sprint, read this article. And this is part two, with more how-to info.

Doing sprints on a track/street is far superior to doing them on a treadmill because of the force it takes to push yourself off the ground (1). When you are pushing yourself off the ground as hard as you are during an all-out sprint, you’re recruiting way more fast-twitch fibers. These fibers are the ones that respond to stimulus by growing (2). Muscle growth = good. Sprinting on a treadmill just doesn’t give you the same explosiveness because the moving track supports you more.

For those who are just starting out with sprints, you’ll want to take it easy the first few times. ANYONE who is going to sprint, whether they are fit or not, needs to warm-up. A light jog is ideal. You should also do dynamic exercises like the ones in this article.

Mobility work is a good idea, too. So basically you should jog lightly for a few minutes then do things like bodyweight squats and lunges, butt-kicks, walking high kicks, leg swings and leg cradles.

If you have access to a football field, that’s perfect. If not, then any stretch of open space will do.

Those who have access to a football field or a marked track:
-Beginners can sprint 50 yards then walk 50 yards to recover. Repeat 5-8 times. If you’ve walked 50 yards and still need recovery time, take it.
-To reduce the risk of injury, begin your sprint with a running start. Once you pass 20-30 yards start sprinting. (People who are more advanced can opt to skip this.)
-Beginners should aim for 50% of their top speed, and gradually increase their pace every workout.
-Intermediate/advanced level people can sprint 100 yards and walk 100 yards to recover.
-Intermediate/advanced people should be aiming for 90-95% effort. Basically, you are running as fast as you possibly can. NO slacking.

Those who do NOT have access to a football field/marked track:
-Run as fast as you can for about 10-15 seconds. If you can last longer than that, you are not sprinting as fast as you can. (Beginners shouldn’t push quite as hard. The sprint should still be very fast but not top speed, like a 7 or 8 out of 10.)
-Rest for a minute and repeat this 5-8 times. If you need more than a minute to rest, take it, but don’t go overboard.

Other things to keep in mind:
-Sprints should not be done more than twice a week, on days you are NOT working your legs.
-Make sure you warm-up to prevent injuries.
-Expect to be sore the next day, even in your abs.
-As far as technique is concerned, make an effort to relax your shoulders and pick your knees up higher than you would doing a regular run. When your arms are swinging as you sprint, your hands should not go higher than your cheek as they come up, and should not go behind your hips as they are coming back down.
-You need to be putting a lot of effort into this. It’s sprinting, not running. You should be running as fast as you possibly can. If you are not gasping for breath after 10-15 seconds, you need to step it up.

Sprints aren’t pretty. But they are totally worth the pain. Don’t believe me? Try them for a month and see what happens.

I hope I didn’t scare you. Sprints really do deliver excellent results if you do them consistently!

So apparently I have relatives that read my blog. And according to my father they have an issue with me cursing. Whatever. I don’t think I even curse that much. I’ve even tried to curtail it these past few posts…to be nice, or something. However I am not a fan of censorship.

It was relayed to me that my relatives look down on me cursing because people who curse are ignorant and can’t think of a more eloquent way to express themselves. (For the record, my parents don’t care if I curse. That’s why they rule.)

As I’ve said before, I look at my posts as conversations. When I write them, I try to think of myself talking to a friend. I’m mostly being casual here. And in casual conversations with friends, I curse. If that offends anyone, it’s really not my problem. This is a BLOG…not an article for publication. And like I said, I don’t think I do it excessively.

But what can you do? Many of my family members are from another time. I don’t really expect them to understand.

I mean, why is cursing even bad? What is it about those words that is so taboo? Aren’t they only taboo if you make them taboo? Man, taboos are annoying and useless.

Well, ANYWAY…

If there’s anything that will make you curse, it’s a tough workout. That’s why I deem the following routine the WTF Workout. It might make you swear, but I chose the acronym so as to not offend my family. A few friends and I did this cardio workout a couple of weeks ago, and according to them their limbs were hurting for days afterwards.

THE WTF WORKOUT
Do each exercise for the specified amount of time, then move on to the next. Beginners, complete one circuit. Intermediate and advanced people can do two circuits.

Squat Overhead Press – 2 minutes

Squat and simultaneously lift your hands straight up as high as they will go. This one is harder than it looks! Remember, when you squat you should be sticking your butt back as far as it will go, like you are sitting back on something. You want to keep your back straight and avoid having your knees pass your toes.

Side Lunge and Knee-up – 1 minute per leg

Do a side lunge, and as you come back up bring your knee up. The leg that comes up should be the same leg that you stepped out with. Continue to do this on the SAME side for a minute, then switch legs. Check the link for a re-fresher on how to do a side lunge.

Lunge Jump – 2 minutes

Get into a lunge position, then jump up and switch legs in the air. Let’s say you start with your right leg in front. You jump up and switch legs so that when you land your left foot is now in front. Make sure your upper body stays upright the whole time. You don’t want to lean forward.Watch this video to see it in action.

Cross Body Mountain Climber – 2 minutes

Get in the plank position. Bring your left knee to your right elbow then go back to the starting position. Then bring your right knee to the left elbow. This is like a regular mountain climber, but you are bringing each knee to the opposite elbow.

MMA Get Up – 15 each side

Watch the video

Moving Push-ups – 20

Here you will start with your right hand slightly forward and the left hand slightly lower than they would be in a conventional push-up. Do a push-up, then put your hands in the conventional push-up position. Do another push-up. Then put your left hand slightly forward and your left hand slightly lower. Do another push-up. Complete 20 of these. Each push-up counts as one rep. Beginners can do them on their knees.

Forward Jump – 40
Jump forward 20 times, then turn around and jump back another 20 times. Just to be clear, you will NOT be doing any backwards jumping. Just jumping ahead 20 times then turning back around. If you have enough space, you can do the 40 jumps in one shot without turning to go back to where you started.

One-leg Bridge – 20 per leg

Lie on your back and stick one leg straight in the air. Use your planted foot to lift your butt off the ground. Do 20 reps, then switch sides.

Try it and let me know if you uttered any expletives during or after.

So, in part 1 I discussed how you can do a glute-ham raise at home with a partner.

David is now a member of my gym so he was able to get some footage of me doing a glute-ham raise on an ab bench. (Very crappy phone footage, but whatever.) We had to be kind of discreet filming because I don’t think it’s allowed in the gym. Sshh, don’t tell.

So first of all, find an ab bench that looks like this.

Make sure the ab bench you use has pads on the foot-holder dealie.

It should have cushions on the foot-holder thingies. I’d recommend putting a towel on the part where your knees will be resting because this exercise can be rough on your knees. Trying to describe how to mount this thing to do a glute-ham raise is kind of awkward. I think the most accurate way to put it is to think of the way you’d normally slide in to do an ab workout, but do it upside down. Just watch the video, haha.

I mentioned in my first glute-ham raise post that this exercise is HARD. So try it out if you’re feeling hardcore. One thing you want to watch out for is not leading with your butt too much. You want to be as straight as possible coming back up. I’m leading with my ass a little bit in the video, but it’s normal for that to happen to a small degree.

To make this exercise a little easier, you can put a bosu ball on the bench and use that to push yourself back up. It shortens your range of motion and gives you a little more momentum coming back up.

Also, I’m small and I have short legs, so this modification on the ab bench works for me. I’m not so sure how well it’d work for someone with longer legs. I’d get David to try it out but his knees are all scabbed up from a drunken fall.

And if you’re curious about what else I do for legs, here are some videos. Once again, terribly sorry for the horrible quality.

Me squatting 125 lbs for 4 sets of 4 reps. It’s not the prettiest squat ever, but this was pretty hard for me. I’m small, okay!

Romanian deadlifts. 3 sets of 8 at 120 lbs. These are actually pretty easy for me, but my biggest issue is my grip going out. I need to do farmer’s walks!

In other news, good weekend was good. I partied with cool people and ate an overly-teriyakied chicken sandwich at Vagabond. I had good ceviche (review to come soon!) I also saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Yeah, it was as cheesy as you’d expect it to be, and there were a few loopholes in the plot. It did, however, make me wonder how my pet bunny, Sumo, would feel about me if he suddenly got super intelligent. Despite his cuteness, he’s a pretty hateful little turd. It’s probably for the best that he stays dumb, lest he turn into an evil, brainy bunny bent on taking over the world.

He already thinks he rules the world.

So cute....so evil!

The glute-ham raise machine is like the unicorn of the gym. Something magical that you’ve only ever heard of, but have never seen.

For those of you who are not familiar with this contraption, it looks like this:

And this is how you use it:

It’s one of the most challenging ways to train your glutes, hamstrings, and calves. I’ve never actually seen a glute-ham raise machine in person. Fortunately, that’s not a problem because there are a couple of ways you can do a glute-ham raise without the machine. Right now I’m just going to go over one of them.

But first, a warning. This is advanced exercise. Not because it’s complicated or the movement is hard to figure out, but simply because it’s just plain HARD. If you’ve never done it before, you will be sore the next day. And chances are that while executing this move you are going to feel some strain in your knee pits. This is because the muscles and tendons in that area aren’t used to working that hard. Just take it easy when you’re first starting off, and keep at it. With time you’ll stop getting sore.

That being said, if you’re feeling confident, give it a go! It’s an incredible way to work your posterior chain, and once you actually try it you’ll see why. Even if you aren’t strong enough to complete them in the full range of motion, just do the best you can.

The easiest (and by easiest, I mean least complicated) way to do this exercise is with a partner, a towel, and a mat. Obviously, lay down the mat. I’d advise rolling up the towel to make it thick, because you are going to be kneeling on it. Your knees are going to need as much cushion as possible.

Here’s a video of me executing the exercise. Don’t make fun of me too much. It’s my first video!

Most importantly, when you are coming back up, don’t rely too heavily on your arms to push you. You really want to be focusing on your glutes and hamstrings to pull you back to the starting position, not the momentum created by pushing off the floor. If you aren’t feeling it in your hamstrings/butt, then you are pushing too hard.

Here’s a photo breakdown with directions:

This is the starting position. Your partner should hold your ankles to keep you stable.

Now, slowly lower yourself down to the floor while keeping your back as straight as possible.

Try to go as low as you can, and when you reach the point where you lose control of the movement, use your hands to assist in pushing you back up.

Yay!

If you can only lower yourself a few inches before you need to use your hands for support, that’s fine. As you progress, you’ll be able to go lower and lower.

If you don’t have a partner, you can always try putting something heavy over your ankles to keep you stable. I’ve seen people do it with barbells, but it’s a bit awkward.

Next time I’ll be covering how to do this exercise at the gym on an ab bench.

So that’s it! Now go do them so you can feel like slapping me for ever suggesting it