Fit Geek

Um, I’m alive. Writing the intro to a post after you’ve been away for oh, five months, is kind of awkward. Let’s just pretend we’re the kind of friends who can go a year without talking and then pick up again like no time has passed at all.

So what’s been going on lately?

I finally got certified as a personal trainer with the NASM. That means I’m kind of like a dominatrix of body composition. I beat fat into submission and then beat your muscles so they get bigger and stronger. There may be yelling involved, but only if that’s what you’re into. And I draw the line at peeing on a client. This ain’t no dungeon!

And while we’re on that topic…
S&M Bootcamp? Whatever, we’re sexy and we know it. (We workout.)

Arguably the hardest thing a person can do is change.

In many cases, I am skeptical of one’s capability to erase a deeply seeded habit or mentality. Same thing goes with adopting new practices. But it’s possible. And I know this because I’ve seen it. Not often, but often enough.

In myself, I have seen many changes. Most pressing on my mind is the change that occurred from 106 pounds to now.

Me at my smallest, and most tortured.

I’m sure you are familiar with the disordered eating stories that most of my “kin bloggers” have posted. My tale is no different. I was bat-shit crazy, insecure, and obsessed with food and being thin. Doughnuts gave me anxiety. Pizza made my heart palpitate. And eating chocolate was comparable to masturbating while crying. (Of course that’s purely speculation. I swear.) Social situations were particularly tormenting because I love to go out, but the inner turmoil I felt towards the food that was there ruined the experience. I always ended up binging and feeling gross.

A noteworthy memory was driving home from my ex-boyfriend’s dad’s funeral. We had a lot of leftover food in the backseat from the reception. Earlier I had already stuffed myself till I fell asleep on a couch from a food coma, yet I still reached back, opened up a tray of potato salad and used my hand to shovel it in my mouth. If anything epitomized the pathetic state of mind I was in, it was that moment.

I don’t do that crap anymore.

As I was saying, I’ve changed a lot since then. Yes, I’m no longer as thin as I used to be. But I’m also not as crazy as I used to be. My relationship with food is a hundred times better. Not to say that it’s perfect, but at least now I can look at a slice of pizza and say “I’m going to eat the shit out of you” without hating myself later.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because someone on Twitter posted something about the saying “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels”–the infamous thinspo and proana slogan. Once upon a time I agreed with that sentiment. Now I don’t. See? Change!

You know what tastes better than thin feels? EVERYTHING. Because if you are starving yourself to the point where you have to repeat this phrase to yourself, being thin feels horrible. It’s a JOB where you’re in constant fear of being fired. F that.

Now, that was the rational side of my brain talking. I like to think that most people have a logical, normal side and a crazy, irrational side. It’d be dishonest to gloss over the latter aspect in myself. As strong as my distaste for that phrase is, I can’t really look down on someone who says it, because the loco in the coco side of me still understands that sentiment in a way. I know, I know. I just went on this spiel about changing my unhealthy body mentality. Just hear me out.

While my food and fitness habits have changed for the better, there is still a part of me that wants to be thinner. The urge is certainly watered down from what it used to be, but if I’m being completely truthful I can’t deny its existence. In our society, the desire to be thin is so strong, I wonder if any of us can truly escape it.

For the most part, I’m confident with my appearance. I think I’m pretty balanced with the way I eat. I’ve been hovering around the same healthy weight for a couple of years and it’s comfortable. But there’s that tiny, little voice in the back of my head that says, Imagine how much better it’d be if you had visible abs and your thighs were each 2 inches slimmer.

The really sick part is that while half of me wants to squash that voice and just focus on being fit, strong, and healthy, the other half of me is clinging tightly to that mentality, refusing to let go.

I suppose that’s what my next change should be. Fully and truly releasing this fat loss fantasy and just enjoying the healthy person that I am.

At least I can say that these days I have enough sense to not make myself crazy over it. If I somehow learn to unlove fried food, sugar, and booze, then cool. But I’ve been long done with miserable restriction. I don’t hate my body anymore. In fact, I’m proud of the things it can do. The next step is learning how to stop making myself mildly dissatisfied because of 10 pounds. To not care. There’s the rub!

Sidenote: I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to lose fat, or get rid of a few vanity pounds. Just, for ME, I’m tired of feeling like a slave to it.

Wow. Talk about a disappearing act.

If anyone noticed my absence, apologies! I could say that I’ve been busy (which I have been, but then again I aways am), but the truth is I’ve been going through a bit of a content drought lately. I will write three-quarters of a post, leave it alone for a day, and then think it’s total crap when I revisit it. My thinking cap done broke.

Also, struggling to figure out what direction I want to take this blog has made me apathetic.

But enough of that. Here are some random tidbits that have been on my mind. I’m hoping this will help me get the ball rolling on blogging!

Zuzana Returns
I feel like a stupid fangirl admitting this, but I actually got a little excited that Zuzana Light has re-appeared on the Interwebs. I was a follower of Bodyrock for a while, but after she left the site really lost something. She was the face of Bodyrock, and without her it just felt…weird. Obviously the site has changed, and I understand that change is inevitable, but I’m not really interested in their workouts anymore. Especially since they started adding equipment, when one of the main selling points was that the site had workouts you could do at home with minimal equipment.

I dunno what it is about Zuzana (besides those abs and her Czech accent), but she has a huuuuge following. Homegirl deserves it, if you ask me, and I really look forward to the new content she’ll be putting up.

The Problem with Skinny Bashing
After being annoyed at all those memes on Facebook asking when This (a thin girl) became more attractive than This (Marilyn Monroe), I was really glad to see this article. Yes, larger women have gotten the shit end of the stick in our society, but I don’t think that makes it okay to insult small women. I think it’s hypocritical to want to be accepted for the size you are, but then jump at the opportunity to criticize someone who is the opposite of you. But up until now I’ve kept my mouth shut about it. As someone who is relatively small, I feel like the situation is comparable to a white person complaining about being discriminated against: I’m bemoaning something I’ve never really experienced the brunt of.

If it could be summarized in a meme, me complaining about thin bashing would be considered “Thin Girl Problems.” (Does that already exist?) In all honesty, I am glad that I’ve never been bullied or made to feel less than because of my body. Really, I am. I know it must suck tremendously to be a bigger person who’s been ridiculed their whole life because of their size. I don’t think it’s right, and I fully admit that I will never understand what it’s like to be shamed like that. But I don’t think pitting one body size against the other is the answer, and it does bother me when people do that. Even if you don’t agree with me, I think you should check out the article.

BOOT CAMP!
I had my biggest turn-out yet this past Sunday. It was awesome!! More people are expressing interest, too, so I think I’m going to start a Facebook page to keep everyone updated.

Emily was fueled by vodka. Hey, whatever works!

Damn blurriness!

There was also some post-workout sword fighting with the boys:

Can’t wait to see who shows up next week!

Damn. It’s been a while.

Where to even start…

Oh yeah, the no sugar bet. David and I both made it through the week without ingesting any added sugar. (We were still eating fruit and dairy though.) We even withheld at a party that had these treats laid out before us, begging to be taken like wanton lovers.

But we resisted! Honestly, the whole no sugar thing wasn’t really a big deal. I liked that I didn’t eat any sugar, but I can’t say I felt much of a difference. Maybe it’s because a week isn’t long enough to feel the effects, or maybe it was because we were still having a small amount of natural sugar. Interestingly, when I ate sweets again after that week was up, I didn’t feel any different either. Granted I didn’t eat a large amount. But still. A few chocolates here and there didn’t upset my stomach or change my energy level at all.

Although I will say that it felt really good to go to that party and not eat any sugar. In situations like that I usually go overboard, and as Louis Ck says, “the meal is not over when I’m full. The meal is over when I hate myself.” Yeah, that’s totally me at a party. David and I only ate shrimp and olives and drank wine.

For once I didn’t feel like a bloated whale at a party. I was happy and sated without being stuffed. I like that feeling. Perhaps I should adopt a strict no-sugar policy for social occasions only.

Then some stuff happened. I started up the boot camp again. These two were the only ones to show up. I didn’t have one this weekend because of Christmas and all, but plan to resume after the new year.

Speaking of Christmas…

Spent it with family.

Then I went home for a workout.

One of my gifts was this Jillian Michaels resistance band set. “Cool! I can use these today since the gym is closed,” I thought. I attempted to do shoulder raises with the lighter resistance band and it broke on the first rep. Great. Good thing I have dumbbells at home. I did the following shoulder workout:

One arm DB shoulder raise – 3×8 25 lbs

Arnold press – 4×8 20 lbs

DB upright row – 4×8 40 lbs (20 lb DB in each hand)

Deltoid lat raise – 4×10 with level 2 resistance band (I held the band instead of the handle so it wouldn’t break.)

Bent over rear delt raise – 4×8 with level 2 resistance band

Front raise – 4×10 level with level 2 resistance band.

I still prefer dumbbells over resistance bands, but they get the job done when your options are limited.

Then…I went for a run! I hate running!

Then…I went out for sushi! I love sushi!

So yeah. That’s a very abbreviated version of what’s been happening, and stuff. I will be back on the regular posting bandwagon soon. Until then, be good and have fun!

It seems the holidays can either bring out the best or the worst in people.

Admittedly, I’ve been quite the Grinch. Ask me about Thanksgiving, and I’d roll my eyes and say it was a tribute to gluttony and genocide. And Christmas? More like Consume-mas.

This year I’m trying to be less Grinch-y. I even cooked for the first time ever for Thanksgiving.

You see, my dad used to have this saying–Happiness is having a good day. I really took that to heart, and while I still think there’s a lot of truth in it, I’ve changed my perception about it. These days I think happiness is more of a decision.

Lately I haven’t been quite as focused on being positive, and I can feel the difference. Maybe it’s the holiday blues, but I don’t intend to succumb to that, or to marinate in my negativity the way I’ve done in years past. It’s kind of funny, you know. You’d think that since our brains are so concerned with our self preservation and well-being that it’d be easier to be positive. But, for me at least, having a good attitude and a chipper outlook on life is an effort. Happy thoughts are definitely not where my mind goes first.

But I’m still up for the challenge.

So instead of complaining about being forced to buy people presents in annoyingly crowded malls, I’m going to put more effort into coming up with creative gifts that represent more than just “I’m obligated to get you something and I had no idea what so I closed my eyes and picked the closest thing to me.” I don’t think you have to spend tons of money to give people meaningful gifts, and that’s going to be my focus this year.

I’ve never had a problem being consistent with exercise during the holidays, so that’s one less thing to worry about.

As for holiday weight gain, David and I are going to be having a little friendly competition to see if we can make it a certain amount of time without eating any added sugar. If I lose, I have to pay him $100. But aside from that, I’m not too stressed about my seasonal saddlebags.

Another thing I really want to work on is my response to people when they ask me how things are. For whatever reason, it is really hard for me to say something like, “Life is great!” I’m much more inclined to be like, “Eh. It’s okay. Nothing too exciting.” Part of it is that I feel like a fake and a cheeseball expressing any kind of enthusiasm. I guess I don’t have to go as far as sounding like my own personal cheerleader, but I’d also like to not be so apathetic.

So anyway, before this gets too long (too late), I wanted to share a couple of things I made for Thanksgiving. Please forgive my terrible photography skills. One day I’ll, uh, take better pictures.

Cranberry relish

Made from scratch. Yes, that means I used fresh cranberries!

Raw squash rice with onions, raisins and walnuts. I got it from this recipe.

I gotta tell ya, I’m not crazy about raw onions. The flavor was too overpowering. I really liked this recipe otherwise, but next time I’ll cook the onions first.

Ms. Guru Rabbit’s Sweet and Spicy Miso Pumpkin Squash Soup

Exciting picture, huh?

Sylvia used pumpkin in her recipe, but I substituted it with butternut squash. It was quite tasty. Today I actually mixed it with some of the squash rice and that was a total win.

I also made pear gratin and sweet potato casserole. But unfortunately I didn’t get pictures of them.

I really didn’t feel like working out today, but after yesterday’s feast I convinced myself that I had plenty of fuel saved up from all those carbs, and was probably capable of doing some decent lifting.

I did this shoulder routine:
Barbell push-press: 2×9, 2×8 55 lbs
Seated DB shoulder press: 1×8, 3×7 30 lbs each, for a total of 60 lbs

Superset:
DB lateral raise 3×9 12 lbs each
Bent over rear delt raise 3×8 12 lbs each

Front raise 3×10 15 lbs

Then I did a frickin’ HIIT workout on the stairmaster for 9 minutes. NOT cute. Oh yeah, and I walked to the gym, which is a little more than a mile away from my house. Not too shabby, eh?

The other day I was doing squats at the gym. On the other side of the room a female trainer was also squatting. (Incidentally people have asked if we’re sisters because there is a slight resemblance, AND I saw her at the club I went to last night.)

I immediately start sizing her up, looking at her form, how much weight she’s moving and how many reps. I tend to do this with everyone who squats, but especially with women. Apparently I take squats very seriously.

At first it was no thang because she was only squatting 65 lbs (the bar plus two 10 lb plates). I warm up and do my first set of squats (110 lbs for 8 reps. I want to address this in the future, but my strength has gone down since starting a body part split and I’m working to get it back up.)

Then she takes the 10s off and replaces them with 25s. Now she’s squatting 95 and I’m staying at 110. Too close for comfort. I watch her intently. She does something like 15 reps and gets to about parallel with her depth.

Whatever, at least I go ass to grass, and I’m still doing 15 lbs more than her, I think to myself.

The whole time I’m anxious that she’s going to add weight to the bar and out-squat me. I realize that this is pretty ridiculous, but I am competitive. It’s strange to experience this inner rivalry and yet be completely aware of how unnecessary and petty it is.

Source

On one hand, competition can be a good motivator to push us beyond our boundaries. On the other hand, it can very easily turn into something negative. I think there’s a fine line between friendly competition and a pissing contest.

I’m always talking about how women should be more open to lifting weights, yet when I encounter one I feel threatened. I guess that’s the only child in me coming out. This is MY area. I am the official weight lifting girl here. Who are YOU? Silly, yes, I know.

I don’t really have a point to all of this, except that I’d like to change this behavior. If I see another girl lifting, and I decide to go heavier because of it, it should be because I’m inspired, not threatened. Also, I’m wondering if anyone else reading this is as competitive as I am?

And this is kind of, sort of related in the sense that it reveals how psycho I am….
The other day I was driving to my self defense class and the parking lot was full. I circled around it once then went back in. As I came in the second time, a lady was walking into the lot to leave so I stopped and waited. Her car was actually right next to mine and I needed to reverse to let her out.

Only, a girl was behind me and she didn’t want to reverse because she wanted the parking spot. Oh hell no. I knew I was about to be that chick…the one who gets out of the car and walks up to the other person’s window and asks them to roll it down. Yeah, I did that. The conversation went like this:

Me: Would you mind backing up?
Girl: I can’t. There’s a truck there.
Me: There’s like four feet between you and the truck. I just need a little space to reverse so the lady can get out.
Girl: But I was here first.
Me: How were you here first if I’m in front of you?
Girl: You cut me off.
Me: I did NOT cut you off. (Which I didn’t…AT ALL.)

At this point some people walked up and told us that they were leaving and the space was right there. Nice way to diffuse the situation. Not that I would have done anything violent, but I did feel my bitch meter starting to rise. The thing is, I’m a considerate driver in a city of assholes. If you don’t live in Miami, ASK ANYONE who does. The people drive like dicks here. If I were in that girl’s position, I would have reversed in the first place (which she eventually did.)

At least I didn't do this.

Source

Was getting out of my car a little extreme? I don’t give a shit. I think I was perfectly in the clear to ask her politely if she’d move. My cop friend told me that I was crazy because “everyone carries a gun here.” Whatever. I guess I live on the wild side then! My life is usually pretty boring. I need something to get my blood pumping, and that certainly did the trick. And I’m not sorry I did it at all.

I got a Twitters. Add me at MsFitGeek!

I’m not very good at the Twitter thing. At least, not with a public one. I actually have another private one where I am completely and utterly inappropriate, but that one is going to stay under wraps. I don’t want to give away all my potentially offensive and off-putting idiosyncrasies just yet…

Exercise Set Point?

In other news, I found this article over at the NY Times blog to be rather interesting. It poses the question of whether or not we have an exercise set point. In other words, if we exercise during the day, does that mean we will move less later on? If we don’t exercise, does that mean we will move more (walking, fidgeting, etc.) to make up for it? Certain researchers argue that we aim to reach our own unique exercise set point to maintain our weight. A study was conducted on several groups of children who all had very different P.E. requirements. One group was required to have 9.2 hours/week of physical activity at school, while another group was only required to have 1.6 hours of P.E. Yet all the children had very similar levels of activity. Obviously, read the article for the details.

So if it is true that each of us has a daily cap of activity that we unconsciously meet, it could offer some insight into why overweight and obese people have trouble losing weight. Even if they exercise, they may compensate by moving less the rest of the day. BUT, I’m not making conclusions either way. The study group was comprised of only 70 children, so who knows how much gravity the study has in the adult world. Regardless of whether or not we do have an exercise set point, it’s clear that NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis, the energy we expend doing daily activities that don’t include exercise) plays an important role in our body composition. So what does that mean? Invest an a pedometer and keep walking! If you want some more creative ways to up your NEAT, try high-fiving people, giving them lots of hugs, brushing your teeth an extra minute, flossing (you know you’ve been slipping on that), tapping your foot to a song or picking your nose in the car. At the very least it provides me with entertainment on my drive home.

Veggies!

I kind of a had fail with a curry soup I made. Just tastes weird. But it will not go to waste! It’s actually pretty decent when I put alfalfa sprouts and hummus in it. Hummus is seriously the savior of all my culinary screw ups.

Today I had more luck with sauteed chard. Had it with garlic, onions and tomatoes and it was gooood. Surprisingly good. I would have taken a picture but I was too busy wolfing it down.

Remember that thing I said about off-putting idiosyncrasies?

Here’s one of ‘em: TMI!

Let's see how many readers I lose after this.

No, that is not a dog penis. It’s what was under a crucial blister I got in my self defense class. And those ridges on the top of my feet were from my socks. Hey, I needed some kind of picture to include here, and that’s about as interesting as it’s been lately.

Anyway, it’s late and I’m supposed to wake up at 6 a.m. for my daily dosage of masochism at the gym. Byeeeeee!

Dear all 10 people who read my blog, forgive my absence. Things have been cray-cray in the real world.

As you may remember, I was staying at my parents’ house while I had a new floor installed at my place. Well, one morning when no one was home I decided to walk around the house naked. Unfortunately there are a lot of sliding glass doors in that house. I was bending over to feed my rabbit, and when I turned around I noticed that the water in the pool was moving. Then the pool guy walked by, and I KNOW he saw me naked. Ugghh…he was even smiling. Here is a photo of my parents’ living room so you can actually picture my humiliation.

My towel was on the counter, so I squatted down in that corner where the trash bag is, grabbed the towel, and ran back to my room to wait for him to leave. As a result I burned my breakfast. I like the yolk dried out anyway.

Oh well. After I got over the embarrassment it was pretty funny.

Then at some point this happened:

Yeaaah. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

Then this happened:

I took a bite before snapping the pic. Oops!

David and I had dinner at Sushin Japanese Restaurant, and our experience was…weird. I ordered the steamed ginger fish dinner. It comes with soup, salad and a bowl of rice. I asked our server if we could substitute the rice for a bowl of steamed broccoli…and she said no. David asked why not, and she said it was too expensive, and that if we wanted they could put some bits of broccoli into the bowl of white rice. Um…no. I understand that a bowl of broccoli may be more expensive than a bowl of rice, but I would have paid the difference. There was no discussion of that though. Granted, the server didn’t have the strongest grasp of the English language, and I think she may have not completely understood us so I let it go.

Our food was also served out of order. David’s entree arrived with my soup and salad. Then my entree arrived, then the appetizer. The appetizer was pork something or other (sorry, forgot the name of it), and I let David eat most of it. I did eat a majority of the broccoli, however, and they were steamed to the perfect consistency. Not too soft and not too firm. Despite the um, not so excellent service, the food was really good. And honestly I kind of felt bad for our server because she was still nice, just you know…foreign.

By Friday night I was eager to go back home and get back into my routine. But by the time I got there (around 8:30) the floor people were still working. I had a slight emotional moment about this because I just wanted my house back. So I went to the gym and had a cathartic workout. I felt 100% better by the time I was done.

Since this blog is called Fit Geek, I’ll write out the routine I did for anyone who cares. It was a chest workout.

Barbell bench press 4×8 – 85 lbs

Super set:
Dumbbell flyes 4×8 –  20 lbs each
Dumbbell bench press 4×8 – 30 lbs each

Super set:
Incline dumbbell press 4×8 – 2 sets of 25, 2 sets of 30
Bench dip 4×8 – bodyweight

Cable crossover 4×8 – 10 lbs each side

I also did some ab stuff but I’ll spare you. And in case you don’t know what a super set is, it’s when you do one exercise then go to the next one immediately without any rest. After completing the second exercise you rest, then start over.

And for fun, I found this old Sailor Moon shirt that I used to wear at my parents’ place.

Well anyway, I am going to finish my Pinot Grigio and enjoy the rest of this rainy Saturday night. See ya!

In bullets, because they are easy

• I drank beer last night. And vodka. And I ate calamari…again. It was my cheat meal, okay! I can’t help it if fried is my favorite flavor. I’m a firm believer that good friends, lols and bacchanalia are good for the soul.

A Burton Baton. I'm not much of a beer drinker, but this was pretty good.

I ordered a vodka soda, but they gave me a vodka tonic. There is a difference!

Me and Gio-rella.

• So, um, I’m officially winning the war against pubes. Yeah. I just went there. I’m getting laser hair removal on my “bikini area” after getting an INSANE discount via Groupon. Today was my third session, and I almost cancelled because the last session was SO painful. I’m glad I didn’t though! I applied 4% Lidocain and took a pain killer before I went in (plus they give you 10% Lidocain once you get there) and it was pretty much a breeze. TMI? Whuteva!

• Since I was lazy yesterday and didn’t go to the gym, I made up for it today with this insanity. It was probably my longest workout in years, if not the longest.

Legs:

Leg extension (light warm up): 2×30 – 45 lbs
Wide squat – This one was supposed to be 2 light sets to failure and 2 heavy sets to failure, so the light sets were 65 lbs. at 18 reps. The heavy sets were 95 lbs at 9 reps.
Leg press – 4×8 – 200 lbs
Walking barbell lunge – 3×20 – 40 lbs
Barbell step ups – 3×10 – 40 lbs
Plie dumbbell squat 3×15 – 50 lbs

Shoulders:
Smith Machine military press (blah) – 3×10 – 20 lbs (this is not including what the bar weighs)

Superset:
Upright dumbbell rows – 3×10 – 15 lbs
Dumbbell military press – 3×10 – 20 lbs

Incline bench front raises – 3×10 10 lbs (These were surprisingly hard)
Lat raise – 3×10 (last set drop set) 15 lbs
Rear delt raise – 3×10 (last set drop set) – 12 lbs

Not the most impressive numbers, but whatever. So anyway, that was pretty much my Saturday…lasers and iron

Sometimes I have issues reconciling with the fact that I am not a scientist, doctor, dietician, kinesiologist or a personal trainer. There are no prestigious acronyms that follow my name.

I can't tell if I want him or I want to BE him!

I am just a girl who has a passion for working out and eating healthy. I try to learn as much I can about these topics, but there is only so much you can understand without formal education. For the most part I could not explain the complex biological processes that happen when you eat a certain food or perform a certain exercise. I may have a general understanding of what happens–for instance, when insulin is released into the body when your blood sugar is high and the storage of glucose–but the scientific intricacies involved with it are not currently within my scope of knowledge.

It is for those reasons that I occasionally feel guilty passing along information to people who read my blog. Who am I to give advice? Certainly not a professional. The only thing I am a professional in is the appreciation of health, nutritious food and exercise. Please keep this in mind when you read my blog.

To make up for the fact that I have no formal education in nutrition, science or exercise, I try to reference people who do. Consider me a conduit of information rather than someone making conclusions.

I dare say that I am more informed than the average person on topics of health and fitness, but in the grand scheme of things my understanding is still rudimentary.

More than anything I would love to go to graduate school to study dietetics or exercise science. Almost every day my heart tells me to follow what I think is my true calling, and to disregard obstacles like money and the fear of failure. I think that one day, hopefully soon, I will go back to school. I desperately want to be legit in the topics that I am most passionate about.

But until then, just remember that I am not technically an expert. I am pretty well-read on the things I write about here, and I really do practice the things I preach. I would never discuss something I have no personal experience with. While I completely acknowledge that there is so much I don’t know, here I am simply trying to share what I do know in hopes that it inspires you somehow. I am writing about these things because I genuinely care about and believe in them. If anything I say is misleading or uninformed or misinterpreted, I apologize in advance.

I realize this is pretty much an extended disclaimer, but it’s something that I wanted to get off my chest.