What I’ve learned from working in porn…

That I love banging in front of a camera! Just kidding. I actually work behind the scenes as an editor/copywriter. Ever go to a sex store and read the copy that’s on those XXX DVDs? Yeah, I write that stuff. I also write the copy that goes in magazines and websites, and I get to pick the girls who go in the magazines. Basically I know a lot of adjectives for the word vagina. It’s…interesting. But what’s more interesting to me is the psychology behind sexual attraction.

I’ll just get right down to it: There is something for everyone. What one guy considers gross, another guy will get a raging boner over. The same is probably true for women, but frankly our audience is almost entirely male.

So, I’m in charge of two completely opposite niches: barely legal stuff and BBWs. Those interested in the former exalt flat chests and slender frames, while fans of the latter are all about huge-boobed brick houses.

I’ve shown people my magazines and I get a lot of “eewws.” Mostly from women. I am so de-sensitized to this stuff that I don’t see what the big deal is–not that I was ever easily shocked or disgusted.

Now, you might be wondering what this has to do with fitness. Not that much. Well, technically nothing at all, heh. But beauty is something that penetrates just about all aspects of our lives whether we like it or not. I do like to discuss the human body as it relates to function, fitness, aesthetics, and self-esteem, so by some stretch of the imagination this topic is applicable. Bottom line, this is my blog and I can write whatever I want!

But anyway, having seen photos and videos of hundreds, maybe thousands, of naked women has changed the way I think about beauty. I can see what’s attractive in just about every woman. What some might consider physical flaws–being too flat-chested, having a gut, cellulite, uneven or droopy boobs–I don’t see as flaws at all. In fact, the way I analyze the female body has almost become clinical. There has to be something really freakin’ out there about her for me to think twice about it.

Let me clarify that I have seen some WEIRD body parts. And you know what? The more unique the body part, the more fans the girls tend to have.

Some people accuse porn of giving guys unrealistic expectations of a woman’s appearance and bedroom behavior. I can see where they’re coming from if they’re talking about guys who strictly watch “mainstream” porn that’s produced out in LA. But the fact is that there’s a TON of porn out there, the majority of which does not feature beautiful, overly-vocal fembots. Actually I think most guys prefer amateur stuff with a girl next door type–someone who doesn’t look like a pornstar at all. If anything, porn has given me a big dose of REALITY. Namely that no one really cares about the tiny imperfections you obsess about. Guys don’t give a shit, and most of them don’t care about perfection. There’s nothing wrong with you. Whatever you think is wrong about you, someone will love you for. Nothing reinforces the notion that beauty comes in all kinds of different shapes, sizes, and colors than porn. At least in my mind.

How many times have you thought, “Guys/girls would like me so much more if I were just a little thinner/bustier/more muscular?” It’s BS. Not to say that there aren’t people out there who prefer smaller sizes, but there a ton who DON’T care that your figure isn’t perfectly svelte. I can tell you that Samantha 38G has no shortage of admirers, and on the opposite end, neither does Amai Liu.

So back to the original question–what have I learned from working in porn? First of all, it’s been a surprising and unexpected champion of my own self-esteem. Seeing tons of different kinds of bodies and reading the reactions from fans has made me realize that you should just rock whatever it is you have. Second, beauty really is relative. So don’t be so fucking hard on yourself. And third, there are a LOT of weirdos out there. But that’s a post for a different time and place.

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11 Comments

  1. Caitlin

    I loved this Allie. I still think you have a very strange job, though!

    Reply
    1. Allie Q (Post author)

      Oh, there is denying that my job is extremely weird!

      Reply
      1. Allie's friend Adam

        “…no one really cares about the tiny imperfections you obsess about. Guys don’t give a shit, and most of them don’t care about perfection. There’s nothing wrong with you. Whatever you think is wrong about you, someone will love you for. ”

        That’s the problem, isn’t it? That guys fetishize something that signifies a stereotypical “imperfection” to them … like they to feel “superior” to them somewhat, as if the woman’s beauty won’t have as much power over them. Sometimes guys want control, even subconsciously, instead of love. It can affect attraction.

        Reply
  2. Annie@stronghealthyfit

    This was so interesting to read! Made me think twice about being “against’ porn in general, though I don’t have some big crusade against it or anything.

    Reply
    1. Allie Q (Post author)

      well, it is a touchy subject. there are definitely questionable aspects to it. there are just so many variable to consider, but i understand why a lot of people don’t like it.

      Reply
  3. Allie's friend Adam

    “…no one really cares about the tiny imperfections you obsess about. Guys don’t give a shit, and most of them don’t care about perfection. There’s nothing wrong with you. Whatever you think is wrong about you, someone will love you for. ”

    That’s the problem, isn’t it? That many guys will fetishize something that signifies a stereotypical “imperfection” … like they to feel “superior” in a particular way to the women they are attracted to, as if the woman’s beauty won’t have as much power over the guy if he knows that she has observable flaws like everyone else. Sometimes guys want control in a relationship with a woman — which can eclipse love — even subconsciously in the attraction they feel to different women.

    Reply
    1. Allie Q (Post author)

      well yes, there are men who want control over a woman in a relationship. but that’s not really the type of guy i was talking about. just because a guy has a thing for puffy nipples or chubby women or pantyhose doesn’t necessarily mean that he thinks he’s superior to them. people are just turned on by different things. and i think a lot of guys just like the idea of a ‘normal’ girl, not some super made-up porn star. sometimes the real thing is better than the fantasy.

      Reply
  4. Jessica

    You may have the coolest job I have ever heard of! And I love your perspective, everyone has different tastes, just find someone who’s down for your get-down 🙂 thanks for this!

    Reply
    1. Allie Q (Post author)

      thank you!

      Reply
  5. shannon

    like this post. very cool perspective. those magazines we were all looking at at your place gave me a huge boost of self-esteem. with all the mainstream magazines and movies and tv shows showing off the skinniest hot chicks they can get their hands on, it’s nice to know that some men find girls like me attractive (aside from my awesome bf o’ course) ;p

    Reply
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